By the Times chief sports writer Simon Barnes
As Fabio Capello inches closer to the job of England head coach, he prepares for a voyage into the unknown. Running any national team is different from running a club and running the England team presents unique difficulties.
England has a growing reputation for eating football managers. Men have gone into the job with every possible credential – tough, unflappable, capable – and one by one they have ended up on the dining table.
Just as water finds the weak places in a landscape over the course of millennia, so the England job finds the weak places in a man; sometimes, in the case of the lately departed Steve McClaren, in a matter of months.
Recent history gives Capello sound advice. Alas, all the advice is negative, but it is as well to pay attention. For example, if you are approached by a sheikh who promises the earth, make your excuses and leave. Don’t hang around outside Roman Abramovich’s flat with the expression of a man visiting a prostitute. Keep your trousers on at all times when dealing with members of staff.
It’s also a good idea not to put your name to a CD of undemanding classical music.
There are many other obvious pitfalls. Don’t write a book about your job and expect to keep it. If you have eccentric religious beliefs, don’t tell The Times. Don’t burst into tears in the lav – but I don’t think Capello goes for the tears-and-Andrex jag. And, of course, don’t take part in fly-on-the-wall documentaries and say things such as “ Quello non mi piace?”* Don’t try to make the press like you. That’s a mistake they all make. Any attempt to come across as a sympathetic person will fail. Worse, it makes you look like a creep. The idea that you are weak and contemptible passes on to the players; that weakens your authority, hence your ability to win matches. That is why, the longer you stay in the job, the more your authority is undermined and the harder it becomes to win matches.
Is the job genuinely impossible? Any job is impossible if the expectations of your employers are unrealistic. Tony Blair became Prime Minister in 1997 and everybody believed that Britain would instantly become peaceful, green and happy. We thought we had elected Swampy. Blair failed our expectations, but they were not realistic in the first place. Continue reading ‘Keep faith in your brilliance, don’t bed the staff and you’ll be all right’
So Fabio it is. It’s a bit of a blow personally cos I thought I had a real chance once His Specialness turned it down. He’s not an idiot, is he, that fella?
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